Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Protect Yourself

I've been thinking about this for months.  Maybe even a year.  This whole blog world is a strange thing indeed.  Some blog writers bare their very souls while some never give you a glimpse.  I think there can be dangers at both ends of the extremes.

For those who bare everything, I fear that while I'm sure it's a very therapeutic exercise, it does not allow for any sacred space.  When everything is laid out raw, not only does it make the writer vulnerable, it may make their family vulnerable as well.

For those writers who only expose the niceties of their lives, I fear that they are creating a utopia in their minds of a life that doesn't exist.  I also fear for those who read their blogs, that they may begin to envy these perfect lives, knowing full well that no life is without blemish.

Finding your place on the continuum between the two can be exhausting. 

I yearn to be real and yet not expose the sensitive areas of our life.  I want to show you that my children are real and yet not embarrass them or betray their trust that I will always protect them.  I want to share my shortcomings and yet not dwell on them.  I am an optimist and try to put my failings behind me and try again, and again, and again, and again to do better.

My biggest hope through all of this is that you, my dear reader, see me for who I am.  A woman who strives to do right by her family, her God and everyone else.  This does not mean I always get it right, that I don't struggle with issues with my children, my husband, my faith.  It just means that I am striving toward the good in life and prefer not to dwell on the bad.

My biggest fear is that some of you think more of me than you should.  I may not expose myself as some do, but be assured that I am just like you in so many ways.   I experience envy, self-doubt, greed, selfishness and close to no self-control when it comes to anything sweet. Some days I don't brush my hair.

So, this is what I ask of you...please read blogs, including my own, with a sheet of plexi-glass between your computer and your heart.  Do not allow others to (intentionally or unintentionally) influence you in any negative way.  Be challenged, yes.  Be encouraged, yes.  Laugh, yes.  Be inspired, yes.  But do not let that other junk through.

Guard your hearts, minds and families.  They need your protection. Pin It


  1. i relate to this post more than you know! I couldn't have said it more truthfull or more clearly than this! bravo!
    as a daily blogger, i constantly struggle with how much i should say. i do fear that readers place me on this weird pedestal, but in reality i am continually falling off of it, in turn being very real and vulnerable but sometimes that doesn't really show it's head on the blog. there is always this very fine line... to cross it or not- that's the question!

  2. Insightful post. Worth thinking about.

    P.S. THERE ARE DAYS YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR HAIR???!! I'm shattered. ;o)

  3. Great thoughts. It is difficult to find that balance. I don't see you as the perfect example of everything, but I admire your desires and efforts, and those things I can aspire to. I enjoy your blog very much.

  4. This was really good food for thought, today. Sometimes I do worry that I put too much out there for others to see ... between FB and my blog, there isn't much privacy left. The whole world has become my neighborhood.

    That said, the blogs I especially love are those that are honest, real and sincere. I adore transparency. Nothing encourages me more deeply than knowing what another strggles with and how they long to conquer it. It gives me the energy I need to run another lap, so to speak. Whenever I think I am running the race alone is when I feel I don't have the strength to continue on.

    Anyway, thanks for the thought, today. I need to mull this over a bit and see if I am finding that balance! Thanks and have a great day!

  5. Thanks for this very thoughtful post! I have been struggling through this very thing. Having just started my blog about a month ago, I am always hoping that I am displaying authenticity to my readers. At the same time, as I read blogs I try to do so with the recognition that those writers are just women like me who are seeking the Lord, and trying to do the best they can! Thanks for the reminder! Have a blessed day!
    Megan Jenelle

  6. A very good word. Thanks for the reminder. I will feel much better if you post a picture of you on a day that you didn't brush your hair! lol :)

  7. Great post! You know some times I have to stop myself from reading blogs for a few days because I get discouraged thinking I am not that "perfect" homeschooling mom that I see on so many blogs. Thanks for the reminder! I know that sometimes we only show the "perfect" life on our blogs.

    You seem very real to me and I appreciate that about your blog. But I still think you are quite amazing and inspiring.

    Now if only our house could sell and we could move out more into the country and have our own little "farm." Someday!

  8. Haven't touched my hair yet today and it's going on 1:30 in the afternoon. But man, this donut and cup of coffee sure taste good!

    Re Stephanie's 2nd paragraph: AMEN!

  9. Very well put, thank you.

    We all need to remember that there are real people behind the keys that are pushed, stories that are published, pictures that are shared - all sinners very much in need of grace, both Heavenly and from those we walk with each day.

    I enjoy your blog site very much- thanks for the encouragement!

  10. This has definitely been food for thought for me today. I ditto Stephanie's 2nd paragraph. And, I also see the wisdom in keeping it real but still keeping some privacy.

    One area you will almost never see me post about is in my relationship with my husband. That's sacred. It's between him & me. And, whatever struggles or issues we may have (and don't we all have those), they are best kept within the sanctity of our marriage.

    I do feel challenged on the issue of postings about parenting. I think I tend to vent my frustrations in that area fairly quickly.

    Hmmm. My ears are nice and warm with this thinking cap perched on my head.

  11. A very good post. And can I add that while most of us have made wonderful blog friends on the internet, it is just as important to maintain the relationships in our own community; people that God has directly put in our path/life.

    Love your new header and subtitle!

  12. So well said, discretion, kindness, consideration... of family & friends. I often just don't blog about something realizing I may not be able to say it in a way that will not offend beyond repair, or explantion. I appreciate so much your way, sharing what's real & provoking us to thinking. Always. :) So glad your a bloggy friend-

  13. Well said TH! I also agree with Stephanie in that we can find encouragement in reading about other's struggles because we know we are not alone. If she can do it, I can do it, too. I try hard not to complain and gripe on my blog, but I also want to keep it real in what I am going through without compromising my family.

  14. oh, AMEN. I put clear boundaries on what my blog is about (what I make/do in the thrifty arena), but I worry sometimes that my readers forget that and so I think that's all I do. . .and feel bad because I'm not sharing parenting, marital, personal struggles. I need to save that kind of sharing for face to face friends. My blog just skims the surface of one area of my life.

  15. very well said. Its easy to read blogs and start thinking "everyone else has it better" or "their marriage must be perfect"... I'm totally missing out. In blogging, we choose to share the things we want and its easy to seem too good to be true. It's good to be reminded that no one has a "perfect life".
    Chelsea ;-)

  16. Nicely said. Sometimes it's easy to start comparing ourselves to some of those 'perfect' lives in blog land.

  17. Thank you for the reminder. I, too, pray for that balance.
    I try to guard my heart against those 'comparisons' with others.
    I do, however, enjoy and glean from all the wisdom and insight;
    and I LOVE the great recipes :)

  18. You said that ALL so eloquently. I could't agree more and constantly worry about that continuum myself. Therefore I periodically feel like hitting the delete button.


Just a friendly reminder, if you know me personally please try to refrain from using my name. There are those who may try to locate me, break into my pantry and steal my pickled beets. Thanks:-).

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