Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Encapsulated

I think this is the right word.  If we were playing Taboo or Catch Phrase, I'd say, "It's that thing when you've thrown yourself so far into taking care of a baby or toddler that you kind of forget who you are and when you're apart for a spell you don't quite know how to think or act.  You know, it's when you know you're in there- you're not really lost- you're just surrounded by the you that takes care of the them?"

And you'd yell, "Encapsulated!" and we'd win the game because we're like sisters like that.

I'm not sure what age my youngest becomes when those encapsulating layers peel off, but since my kids are generally about three years apart, I know it happens close to or just about prior to age three.  Or maybe that last layer or two wasn't quite free before the next one came along.  Either way, the me starts to shine through the me-caring-for-them at some stage.  I know it does.  I've caught glimpses of her over the years.  Yes, I have.

It's just amazing how those layers pile back on. They form a nice, thick blanket of wondering if they're eating enough and if they might be teething and what was that thing they just put in their mouth and are they getting enough attention and are we spoiling them and...you know- the constant mom-mantra-thought-stream that runs through our heads.  You know it, right?

The thing is, I feel quite naked without those layers.  I don't think it's because I'm uncomfortable with the me underneath (although when we get get reacquainted each time it takes a bit to fall back in sync).  I think I'm just wired to nurture.  And I recognize that not everyone might be.  It's my experience that it's a gift...and it's a bit of a curse because it can be hard to take care of a person who is surrounded by cushion-y layers of baby-need-thought-sequences.  So, maybe I don't take care of myself as well as I should (eating well, exercising, time for quiet and prayer).  Maybe I don't write as often as I'd like.  Or call up friends as much as they'd like.

So, what do I do about all this?  I need to find a way to burrow a little hole through the layers and into the soft, squishy center inside.  A tiny laundry chute, let's say- where I can pass myself some raw carrots and a walk on the treadmill now and then.  Where I can reach out through to my keyboard and type a quick (likely, oddly written) post about who knows what.

I don't want to become de-encapsulated quite yet.  It's not time.  But that girl in there could sure use some fresh air now and again. Snorkel, anyone?
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Monday, August 7, 2017

Projects Galore


 selling sunflowers (again)- this time to help raise funds toward a short-term medical missions trip

Sadie has taken over chicken duty (all 15 made the photo)

 It worked! Two years after planting three vines, we're harvesting and eating red, seedless grapes (with no spray).

 settling in- the smoke house now has a porch, post and stone foundation, stone step and slide. Because what smoke house is not complete without a slide?

this year's garden- mostly weeds and a few vegetables (with a new gate)

preparing for new siding: tearing down an old, unused chimney 

 slowly turning a multi-use barn into a buggy shed (for cars)

assembled hand-me-down trampoline 

the last two weeks of summer- finally some time to start quilting it

constructing a "Children's Zoo"- very important work, indeed
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Monday, July 24, 2017

Outside Play

written this spring

blogger friend of mine recently shared this article from Huffington Post.  The author, a pediatric occupational therapist, recommends kids play outside at least three hours a day- and this shouldn't include organized sports.

I couldn't agree more but it's taken me more than a few years to get here.  When my older kids were pre-school and young school-age, I was kind-of a nervous mom (I can hear Jamey saying sarcastically, "Kind of?").  I didn't want them to eat too much dirt, fall on rusty nails, climb too high in the trees, etc.  Plus, I wasn't content to just be outside, so I'd start a project like weeding and then get frustrated when they'd wander out of my line of vision and I had to stop what I was doing and follow them.

Fast forward ten years.  My kids are older so they generally know how much dirt is okay to eat (wink) and they're the ones pounding in the rusty nails with hammers.  As far as climbing trees goes...well, that's a story for another time.

One aspect of this outside play that I wasn't willing to relinquish back then that I see so much value in now is our time apart.  As a homeschooling family, we're together a lot.  When they enter their own world of play outside while I'm inside, we all get a nice break from each other.  They're free to argue, discuss, make semi-unsafe plans (then rule them out on their own, hopefully) without a mother cringing (and maybe intervening) from the next room.  And for me, I get time to think.

Another thing I've learned?  Those weeds aren't the end of the world.  When the toddler who's with us now starts saying, "peep peep peep" inside, it's his way of asking to go outside.  He's giddy with excitement as I put on his socks and shoes and we head out the door.  He makes a bee-line for the chicks and pokes his little finger through the chicken wire of their cage, petting them with his finger tips until they scurry away.


Then he makes his way into the shed that houses the mower and climbs onto the seat, wrestling the ear protection off the steering wheel and placing them on his little head, grabbing the wheel and rocking, willing the mower to start (he's had a ride and now he's obsessed).  Following this little guy around outside is such a joy.  I (usually) don't notice the weeds and instead I can actually see the world through his wide eyes. For a while yet, he'll need a grown up to help him navigate it but hopefully one day, he'll relish spending time outdoors- away from grown-ups, creating his own pretend world of play, too.

"There’s so much value in kids creating play schemes on their own. Kids who are always told how to play have trouble thinking outside the box, and even answering freeform essay questions. Plus, true outdoor free play is like cross training, with the climbing, spinning, going upside down, and the like that adults don’t encourage but that are so valuable for their development." - from the author of the article, Angela Hanscon

So, nervous mamas out there, I feel you.  Take a deep breath and take just one or two steps back. There's the reward of freedom in it for both you and your kids if you're able to let go just a bit.  And there's joy in being given a tour of their newly fixed up hog-shed turned club house...complete with art on the walls, flowers, furniture they nailed together, a caterpillar habitat, a play-area for the toddler, and a floor that may or may not be swept cleaner than my kitchen floor inside.

Maybe four hours a day should be the new recommendation? Pin It

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Fits and Starts and Moving a Building

It's been months since I've written here.  I still think of things I want to share all the time but not having the time and brainpower to make it happen trips me up and my intentions are abandoned almost immediately.  But writing is good for me even if I can't share all that I hope to so I'm going to try to ease myself back into things.  Bear with me, please.

We have a couple big projects going on around here all in anticipation of an even bigger project which at some point I hope to share a little bit about.  One of our pre-project projects (got that?) required us to move our smoke house to another location on our property.  This used to be a hog farm many, many years ago and the smoke house was used to smoke the pork as well as other meats, I imagine.  When we moved here (about 13 years ago), we replaced the floor and turned it into our attic since there is not a good way to access our actual attic. Unfortunately, we've never used it as an smoke house.


In order to move it, Jamey used car jacks to raise the building and created a frame underneath it which the building was then attached to.  This frame extended out the front and additional braces were put in place to allow the smoke house to be pulled when rollers were placed underneath.


We hoped the smoke house wouldn't come apart in the process.  A friend and neighbor came over with his front end loader (I think that's what it's called) and with the help of another neighbor (who helped move rollers), the building was rolled halfway to its new home.  At this point, it came off its rollers but was able to be turned and pushed (bucket against frame) into position.




We think it looks awfully sweet in its new spot. Since then, Jamey has jacked it up again, set it on proper posts and laid a dry stone skirt with some of the stones from its original foundation.  He's also started on its front porch.  For now, it's still our attic but one day we hope to move the stuff out and add a couple windows.  Our girls have dreams of turning it into a one room school house.


Summer Activity Idea for Kids:  Move an old building on your property and let your kids dig underneath.  It provides hours of entertainment as they unearth broken pottery, a few coins, lots of broken glass (which, thankfully isn't very sharp any more), and old bottles.  We even found a porcelain doll leg and a round glass (ACME Nursing) baby bottle.  Summer boredom, be gone!  Well, at least for a few days until there's no more to dig up.


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Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Giving of Ourselves: Nena

There is SO much about this story that I love- women working side by side, women lifting each other up, recycling, repurposing, and their beautiful handiwork puts the icing on the cake!

Let me introduce you to an inspiring woman named Nena. Nena is a reader of this blog who lovingly shared her story with me and now I want her to share it with you.  Here she is....

I was born and raised in Greece, graduating from Katerini High School. I moved to Boston, Massachusetts where I graduated from Emmanuel College with B.A in French Literature. I also attended Boston College where I did graduate studies in French Literature and University of Massachusetts, Boston where I completed a masters degree in ESL. I was a Boston Public School teacher for twenty one years and traveled in the United States which I love so much. 


Nena and her husband

Thirty years after living in Boston I moved back to Greece with my husband to help the area where we were born and raised. We got involved with economic and educational development projects. 




Living here I noticed how high the unemployment rate is for women and I decided to help single moms and unemployed women to create products they love to make and market them so they can help their families financially.My goal is to empower these women to feel confident about themselves and their products.


Nena's lovely sister

One of these women happens to be my unemployed sister. She had a very difficult time accepting her new condition and she was so stressed out that she became ill for some time. Through the company of some other women, getting together with them, she decided to use her creativity in a new way and began producing rugs and small bags out of discarded fabric and old clothes.The more her creativity increased the better she felt and her health improved tremendously. Her products became gifts for friends and their friends. When I saw the interest for her creations I developed a website where people can browse and enjoy her work as well as getting products for themselves. Creative people who like to hand make their own rugs are welcomed to follow the video where they can reproduce step by step the whole process.  I also include a blog where I post the latest news from Katerini. Greece.

Okay, friends.  Jane here again.  I can't wait for you to see more of what these women create.  AND, before the idea of purchasing items from Greece scares you off because of potential shipping costs, know that the prices on their website INCLUDE shipping to the U.S. and are beyond reasonable.  Click here to go visit.

Nena graciously sent me a few samples of their work as a gift.  I was so thrilled with their products that I placed an order of items to give away as gifts and I was equally pleased with the quality of what I purchased.  Below are some of these items and others are on their website.


Being the amazing readers that you are, I welcome you to shop from these beautiful women and leave them words of blessing and encouragement in the comments below.

Thank you, Nena, for introducing us to yourself, your friends and your beautiful products!
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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Free Bees

Did I tell you that all five of our colonies died this winter?  That seems to be our pattern- one year several overwinter and make it to spring and the next year, they're all wiped out.  This year, we think we know what happened.  Last spring, we were busy caring for a little baby so we didn't manage the hives as we should've.  They grew too crowded so they raised more queens and swarm after swarm left our bee yard.  We were able to catch a couple of those swarms but mostly this meant that their numbers were depleted so they didn't go into the fall and winter as strong as they should have.  That's our guess anyway.

It wasn't for lack of honey.  Out of those five hives we harvested over 8 gallons of honey in February (we sold most of it).


 



We were discouraged at the loss of bees and vowed to skip beekeeping for a year.  But then Jamey got the itch and put our name on a waiting list for a new package this spring (they run $130 a piece in our area).

But lo and behold, he got a call from a friend who had a swarm in one of his trees.  Jamey happened to be off work so he ran over and knocked the ball of bees into a small hive box (a nuc) and brought them home.  He then transferred them to one of our hives and we crossed our fingers hoping they'd like their new home and stay.

 unloading bees from the car (only a few escaped on the way home)

The bees had already started clinging to the bars of empty comb in the box so it was a matter of transferring them into the full size hive.


Instead of using smoke, he used a sugar syrup sprayed on the bees- this occupies them as they clean it off themselves and discourages flying off (as does plugging up the entrance with grass).

 Dumping in the remaining bees- if the queen is in the hive, they want to stay with her.

Not only did they stay but a couple days later when Jamey was checking on them, he noticed that another swarm (from who knows where) discovered one of our other empty hives and moved in!

Suffice to say, we didn't buy that package.  And now we're headed into the summer with two healthy colonies already filling their hives with nectar and brood.  What a gift.

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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Oh, How Far We've Come

I felt so much gratitude this morning in what might seem to be such a normal, routine event.  Our little foster boy was sitting, reclined on my lap drinking his first sippy cup of formula of the day.  We recently switched to a new spout and he was intrigued.  He'd take a few gulps, stop and breath due to a stuffy nose, look at the new spout and grin at it, then latch on for another few gulps.  Smiling at his milk is HUGE for this little guy and in that moment I was overwhelmed with how far we've come.

Almost 16 months ago, at about two in the afternoon, I received a call from social services.  There was a preemie baby boy in the hospital, ready for discharge who needed a home.  He was not eating well on his own so he had a gastronomy tube placed in his little tummy a few days before.  "We need you to get him well," is what the social worker said.

In the days and weeks and months that followed, we spent countless hours trying to encourage this little guy to eat.  He did not like his bottle at all- sometimes even putting himself to sleep (a defense mechanism) to avoid it- waking himself up minutes later after the bottle was put away.  So most of his formula went in via the feeding tube.  It took an hour.  Every three hours.  Even through the night.

It took months and months for me to release control of his eating.  I wanted to make him well. Right then.  It was not in his timing, however, so we had to learn patience and to let him lead.  Slowly (painfully slowly) he began to eat more and more- often in increments of milliliters.  Later than normal (due to his issues), we introduced solids and that went slowly as well (he easily gagged and choked).  It seemed as if we'd never "get him well".

Fast forward to today.  Not only is he smiling at his sippy cup, he rarely gags on his solids anymore.  In six days, we've been given permission by his specialist to stop the night-time tube feeds (we were able to drop the day-time feeds months ago).  If he does well and maintains (and gains) weight, we could be looking at removing the g-tube for good.  Tears come at the thought.

So my thankfulness overflows.  Not just from the fact that he's made such strides but in remembering all the people who've helped us- making it possible for us to take care of him.  I think of all the meals our church and close friends brought to us. I think of neighbors who came and held him daily so I could take a shower or do some laundry.  I think of other friends who drove us to the children's hospital weekly for months because I was worried that I was too sleep-deprived to stay awake behind the wheel.  I think of those who watched and cared for our three kids while I went to SO many doctors appointments and family visits.  I think of his home health nurse who came every week to check on him and encourage us.  I think of our two doctor friends who made house calls or let us run him over to their home when we had more urgent questions and concerns.  And all the prayers- so many people prayed for us.

Not everyone is called to foster but those of us who are can't do it alone.  Today I thank God for His protection, guidance and healing.  And I thank Him for prompting the hearts and minds of our friends and family who reached out to lend a hand, an ear and loving arms.

To God be the glory.


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Friday, February 24, 2017

Projects & Buried Treasure

Warm days have lured us outside.  What a gift! The girls have been very busy re-establishing their outdoor world of houses (in trees and on the ground), a bakery, play fire pit, hideout as well as new and improved baby transportation.













We've been working inside for some better mudroom organization.  Jamey built and I painted.  Using plywood for much of it kept costs down and cheap storage bins hide the hats, gloves and bike helmets.


For Christmas, we gave Sam a metal detector.  He can't go a couple feet on our property without finding metal but most of his finds have been nails, stakes, a few wheat pennies and plenty of canslaw (detector-speak for shredded cans and metal).  BUT a couple weeks ago, not a few yards from our back porch, he unearthed this:


Makes sense since it is thought that our house was built in the 1890's.  I've hinted that my birthday is coming up and I could really use an antique ruby necklace or some Confederate gold.  He said he'd see what he can do.
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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

A Day in February 2017


I force myself up soon after 8am when I hear the toddler stirring in the next room.  I want so badly to be a morning person but I am not.

Get dressed, start drinking my cup of coffee and check email.  Ready toddler's milk. Ready toddler's family visit diaper bag- making sure it has diapers, wipes, snack, milk with a cold pack, a few toys and a change of clothes.

Retrieve now fully awake toddler from crib and give him a bath since his hair smells like he spit up during the night.  Get splashed by the happy little boy in the tub.

Get toddler dressed and let him play with Miriam (who is now up, too) while I call to make two necessary medical appointments for toddler.

Feed toddler breakfast while I eat my yogurt and granola and drink some more of my (now cool) coffee.

Wake up big kids and give instructions for the morning.  Run upstairs and change into town clothes.

About 9:45 am, run toddler into town for his family visit with birth dad.  Make conversation with birth dad in waiting room until social worker comes out.  Pass toddler to his dad and try not to breakdown as he cries and lunges for me as I walk out of the building.

Drive home and check on progress of kids' school work.  Do school with Miriam.  Reheat same cup of coffee and drink some more.

At 10:45 am, take Miriam and go pick up toddler who is very happy to see us.  Miriam thinks it's neat that a police officer held the door for us while we were leaving the office and later tells her sister he was handsome. Pile back into van- hand sanitizer all around.

Drive directly to toddler's doctor's office for appointment.  Miriam and I chase toddler all around waiting room and exam room trying to keep him out of trash cans and from putting things in his mouth.  Leave doctor's office- hand sanitizer all around.  Phone home and ask Sam to start lunch.

Once home, call social worker to give updates on doctor's appointment and other appointment scheduled.  Give extra cuddles to toddler who is often very clingy the day or two after his visit.

Almost 1:00 pm, eat lunch together. Put toddler down for nap.  Pray he sleeps longer than an hour. He does! Get dishes into the kitchen.  Finish school with Miriam.  Start school with Sadie.  Finish cold coffee. Work on school until mail comes and Sadie's first American Girl doll arrives (which she saved up for herself).  All bets on finishing school with Sadie are off.

Fold the last load of laundry (with toddler "helping") that didn't get folded from the laundry spree the night before.  Eat some cookie dough from the freezer and then throw the rest away to keep from eating more.

Finish washing up dishes (while toddler keeps a handful of my skirt in his little fist). Start to think about dinner and decide I need to document one of these days so one day I can remember what life is like right now.  Start to type this post on the way to the pantry to get tomato sauce.

Assemble supper (baked pasta with meatballs).  Jamey gets home from work.  Say brief hello and give instructions for baking the dinner.

Drop Sam and Sadie off at choir and drive to the grocery store.  Park the van in the parking lot, recline seat and BREATHE for 5 minutes.  Fill up my grocery cart, wince, pay, and head home.

Unpack groceries while cooking peas (baked pasta almost ready).  Eat dinner with Jamey, Miriam and toddler.  Fill Jamey in on our day.  Pack up some supper for Sadie.  Kiss toddler good night.

Take Miriam to her music class and pick up Sadie.  Sit with Sadie while she eats.  Sit in on Sam's choir rehearsal until Miriam is done her class.  Drive the girls home and watch a new episode of The Incredible Dr. Pol together.

Hug girls goodnight, discuss next day's plan (Jamey has off!), watch a TV show, greet Sam when his ride drops him off at home. Send him into the kitchen to find dinner and snacks.

Check email, read a few articles, check out what friends are up to on facebook, watch some PBS Masterpiece and head to bed.

Things I did not include:
- times I let the dog in and out of the house
- times I loaded and tended the wood stove
- diapers changed
- times I scolded myself for not drinking enough water (I had my first kidney stone this summer which was ALMOST LIKE LABOR)
- times I asked the kids to be quiet because the baby is sleeping
- photos because I didn't even think to take any

These days I experience many moments when I'm fully present in the now.  But there are also moments when I'm on the verge of panic over what the future will bring for the little boy who has started calling me "ma".  And, what our life will feel like without him.

Thankfully, the present-moments out number the panic-filled ones.  And thankfully, this particular day is (usually) the busiest of our week. Pin It

Monday, December 12, 2016

A Christmas Letter to You

Dear Friends,

It's been two months since I've written here and that feels like an eternity.  A few of you have even sweetly reached out to check in on us-to see if everything is okay- and I am very thankful to say that it is.  We are fine.

One lone pig resides out in the pig yard.  The honeybees are (mostly) hunkered down in their hives. Our chickens are no more (thanks to culling the elder ones and a predator).  We have plans for starting the flock over in the spring with many fluffy chicks.  The garden is where we left it and our CSA has been over for months.  We're (miraculously) keeping up with school and choir, sign language lessons, and church activities.  We're healthy overall and thankful for a good job, a warm house, full cabinets of food, kind neighbors, loving family...the list goes on and on and on.


I could say that I haven't been writing because we've been busy and that's true.  But ever since starting this blog (8 years ago?), I've always been busy.  So I guess it's more accurate to say that my head and heart are busy as I pour myself into caring for our family- husband, three kids and one (newly-turned-one) sweet-as-can-be foster child.

Our little guy is still with us but over the next couple months, major decisions will be made about his future.  This takes up much of my head space as I strive to stay in the moment and, at the same time, try to prepare our family (and myself) for his departure from us. Prayers are welcome.

In light of all this, the season of remembering that God willingly sent His Son to us and then gave Him up is SO not lost on me.  

The tree, the lights, the gifts, activities, and cookies are all very nice but let's not let them become Christmas idols- distracting us from the reality of the season.  What a sacrifice.  What a love.  It seems to defy all reason, all natural ability and that's because it does.  It's supernatural and cannot be thought of, celebrated, or lived through without acknowledging that it occurred only because GOD was in it and through it.

May we see Him in everything this season and trust that He is always in everything- the good, the bad and the seemingly impossible.

"Everything was created through him;
    nothing—not one thing!—
    came into being without him.
What came into existence was Life,
    and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;
    the darkness couldn’t put it out."

John 1:3-5, The Message

So I want to wish you a very happy and Merry Life-Light-mas.

Love,
Jane
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Tuesday, October 11, 2016

A Simple Math Help

My days are full of baby care and supervision (he has finally caught up, developmentally, and, at almost ten months, is everywhere) as well as kid care and homeschooling.


It's all day, everyday- back and forth between the two, sometimes attempting both at once.  I know some of you are in the midst of this now, too.  Bless your tired hearts.


Reading (outside especially) can be fun but Math is a bit more challenging for some of us.  I've written about some multiplication and division tools we use here.  But it goes beyond drilling facts.  It seems that around 4th and 5th grade, the new concepts are endless- hitting us like snowball after snowball with no chance to shake off and prepare for the next hit.  In an effort to simplify things and create a tool for review and to be used as a resource when memories fail, I started a Math concept card ring for Sadie, now a 5th grader.


We use Saxon Math and really appreciate their format for each lesson- new concept, new concept practice, then review, review, review.  For each new concept this year, I make a 3 x 5 card that summarizes the skill.  I then punch a hole in the corner and thread it onto a ring (like these). This is not rocket science.  I'm sure others do this.  It is working really well.




Sadie uses the cards for reference as she does the new concept practice problems as well as when completing the review problems that she needs a little help with.  Some days, I have her read through the cards before we start math.  The goal, of course, is for the cards to become obsolete.  In the meantime, they're at her disposal.  I'm also hoping they're prove to be a nice review now and again throughout the summer.

Maybe they will help one of your kids, too.  What do you find is helpful for your math scholars? Pin It
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