I am torn between wanting to share out loud (this here feels pretty loud to me) and sticking to my safe spiral notebook. I want others to know what fostering feels like but this is all so new and still very raw. Someone had their child taken away (or lost their right to parent for the time being, depending on your angle). And then they gave that child to us. My emotions run the gamut but are quickly gathered and sequestered. There are four children to care for as well as a husband. Managing all the feelings may be the biggest challenge of it all. Snippets from the past month....
Within the span of three hours (from call to pick up), everything changed.
For an indeterminate amount of time, we are a family of six instead of a family of five.
For four days, sleep eluded half of us as we slowly (three weeks slow) and softly fell into new patterns.
Our children are amazing. They've opened their hearts and affections and have become his favorite toys to play with. They have their own feelings (mostly good). We talk about them often.
My ever-so-long summer to do list has flown out the window. And I couldn't care less.
This has been one of the hardest and most rewarding weeks of my life. We are doing it.
For reasons I cannot share here, I now know why we had to wait for our first placement.
He has stolen our hearts. They are his to take- both now and again when he leaves us.
Trust and obey. There is no other way.