Wednesday, October 31, 2012


Our life has been too full lately.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because it's full of good things.  Things that we've chosen to be involved in.  Things that we made a priority.  Things that didn't sound or seem like too much of a commitment at the time.  Things that we look forward to and enjoy once we're there.

Nevertheless, it's too much.

I don't know how it crept up on us, but it did.  We actually expected this month and next to be calmer and quieter, but so far they're not.  Outside chores and projects have been neglected because there just isn't time.  Jamey and I have been trading off evening-kid-duty back and forth like a ping-pong ball as one of us runs here one night and the other somewhere different the next.

I've come to a realization that many households are either driven by kids' activities or by the grown-ups' comings and goings.  We've made a deliberate choice not to over-schedule our kids, but we haven't been protecting ourselves in the meantime.

When we had a baby in the house, we had an excuse.  They generally liked to nurse before bed, so I needed to be around.  Babies can be exhausting so Jamey gallantly opted to stay home and help me.  Our baby is now three and half.  And she's been done nursing for awhile.  So, without an "excuse" in the wings, we started saying, "Yes."

We could stay home every night (I'm already home during the day) and spend quality time with the kids, but we try to walk the fine line between wanting our kids to feel incredibly special and loved and not wanting them to think the world revolves around them.  It doesn't.  We fear it will be a rude awakening when they head out on their own and discover every person they want attention from might not be willing to provide it.  And we don't want them compromising themselves in any way to get it (this may seem extreme, but I've seen it).  Instead, we want to set an example and show them that there are other things in life that are important to us that are worthy of our time and attention- taking some of the focus off of them and putting it on other's needs.  Drastic thinking these days, right?

But, over-extending ourselves to set an example isn't the answer either.  We want them to see the joy that comes from finding balance others' needs and enough rest to go out and do it again.  That's what we wish for them when they grow up.  We don't want them chasing activities that don't bring them (and others) Life.  We also don't want them sitting around doing nothing- that doesn't bring life either.

I wish I could wrap up this jumbled post with some pat answer, but I don't have one.  All I know is that we'll continue to try to guard our time, thinking twice before we say yes- even to something very worthy.  And we'll make being at home a priority for rejuvenation.

How does your family find balance? Pin It


  1. The young-children years are simply busy ones. That's just the truth. We made the same choice you have made with not over-extending the kiddo activities and keeping things balanced ... or working at doing so. And through the years we had to reshuffle repeatedly. Re-evaluating at those times when you feel overwhelmed is always wise. And buying up moments during the day helps, too. I helped myself by making a couple casseroles every weekend to make a couple evenings super easy and other time savers like that. But enjoy the moments, even in the busy-ness. They are gone much quicker than you are ready. (As you are well aware.)

  2. Ah, balance. I hear you Jane! There are you mentioned...*new baby*, *hubby in school*, *you-fill-in-the-blank*. And then there are times of quiet and respite....those times can be the most dangerous as we can become less vigilant in pacing ourselves. Yes, it is wonderful to serve and live out our faith in tangible ways...but, it is also noble and good to say *no* too. Finding the balance? Still working on that one. We often find ourselves pushed to extremes, don't we? Hang in there. Look to the LORD and HE will give you wisdom moving forward. One little case it helps. My sweetie and I sit down with our calendars in front of us and have a *date* in which we schedule in things of importance. We decide in advance what we want to accomplish as a couple and as a family. We pen it in. And, somehow, since it's on the gets done! Then, when something legitimate comes along, if it conflicts with our pre-determined calendar, the answer has to be no. :) Happy planning!

    Blessings to you!

  3. Oh, yes! Been there, done that. It always seems the committee or project or outreach one person thinks is important should be important to you as well. My husband and I have learned is it what GOD sees as important for us to do. And it is still difficult to say no to some things. We were so burned out, we said no to everything. This year we started saying yes again, and I think I've over done it! By the way, our youngest is 21. You would think we would have learned by now. 1 Peter 4:11

  4. I can definitely relate to this post. In fact we've had to learn to say no to some things, but it's so hard to know what to prioritise. Praying the Lord will guide you ( & us) throughout these years of raising our precious children!

  5. I keep reminding myself what a great mom you are! not that I need reminding,its just that so many moms could learn a thing or three from you

  6. We will be moving in a month, which is a big blessing. That is the turning point and date we have burned into our minds and on our calendar for when being at home and being a family will be a priority that we have been missing for awhile. Life has been busy for us, too. Filled with activities and travel and friends. All good things. But counting the days, nonetheless to a quieter time focused on just us.

    You have been on my heart this past month. I think about you often, with your prayer journal and it makes me smile. I'm glad I checked in on your blog today. It has been too long, although not following blogs regularly has brought me more focused time with my family. So much to be thankful for in our lives. I can't believe that baby of yours is now three and a half. Time does fly.

  7. Such wise reflections and questions - I appreciate this post very much. I don't have any advice because we're in the same hole.

  8. Definitely good thoughts going on here! I know I only have a 4 month old and I'm already struggling with how to find balance. I think it's a process...we just take it day by day.

  9. 1 activity at a time per kid. That's IT. And I try really hard to find good activities that all 3 of my kids can do together. Right now it is martial arts. They love it and all 3 have class the same time. Which minimizes our time away from home.

    There are no easy answers, I'm afraid.



Just a friendly reminder, if you know me personally please try to refrain from using my name. There are those who may try to locate me, break into my pantry and steal my pickled beets. Thanks:-).

Please choose the Anonymous option if you prefer not to sign in to comment.

Related Posts with Thumbnails