Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Oh, the irony.

So my post on Monday might have made it appear as if everything here is serene and lovely with children obediently doing their school work and playing nicely.  It's like that sometimes but then there are the moments I didn't photograph.

Let me just tell you that we are like any other family.  We have issues.  Lately it's been about obeying.  We say, "Please stay out of other people's things."  They somehow hear, "Get into, use and ruin whatever you please no matter whose it is."   Funny how that happens.

It's no longer about the offense itself, although it drives us batty to have our things gone through, lost and often ruined.  It has become all about the disobedience.  The repetitive disobedience makes me so frustrated, so upset, sad and angry.  I rack my brain trying to think of consequences that will be meaningful to them, ones that will deter this ridiculous behavior, but often it has been in vain.  They do it again.  And again.

Now, before you feel sorry for my children, let me assure you that I am not being unreasonable here.  Their behavior is unacceptable and they know it.  And, if you think I am not being patient enough, let me assure that I can be patient and I have been patient.  I've also yelled and cried (just so you have the whole story).

While all that seems problematic enough, the real issue for me lies in the forgiveness and grace department.  It is so easy for me to hold on to my frustration and anger even after they've apologized.  On the outside, I may appear back to normal, but on the inside I'm still furious with those little buggers.

And so, I complain to God about it.  He knows all about me, so He's never surprised by what I bring to Him.  In my mind, though, I imagine Him thinking, "Here she comes again.  Can you believe this one?  This woman who thinks *she* has it so bad?  The one who ignores *my* directions?  The one who says she's sorry over and over but keeps coming back giving me the same old line?  She's complaining to *me* about *her* kids?  Oh, the irony."

Instead, this almighty, immortal, all loving, gracious, forgiving God says, "I forgive you and I love you and I will remember your sin no more."

Are you kidding me?  Who is this God I worship?

Well, He's God, that's who.  He's not one of us.  He doesn't make mistakes.  He knows what He's doing even when we don't understand it.  Even when we don't like it.  Even when we think it should be done another way.  Even when we would prefer to believe in a god who acts differently.

If we believe in the God who created the world with all it's creatures and bounty, knit our amazing bodies together (have you ever studied anatomy?), gave up His Child to torture and death, and has the supernatural ability to forgive us when we mess up over and over and over, then let's let Him be God.  Let's let Him carry on with his almighty plan and His mysterious ways and let us trust Him and believe Him when He says we should forgive because, Lord have mercy, He forgives us.

And we are called to forgive others.

And boy, do I want to do want He wants me to do.  I whole-heartedly do.  So, I blink back the tears, I swallow the frustration, I say a prayer as if my life depended on it (and it does), dole out a reasonable consequence, and do my very best to forgive my children.  I choose to love them and allow them to start over with a clean slate even though it hurts like the dickens.

Because that's what He does for me.

(The most important things we need to know about forgiveness, from the Expert.) Pin It


  1. Have you ever thought of maybe a exchange-so the kids can get out of your hair so to speak for a couple hours a week,if you know someone that would care for one of the children thats needs a break from you,and you know them well,maybe you could make a exchange somehow-you might not want to do it the way I did it but this is what we did,my neighbor who I knew was a christen woman ran a pre-school-she was licensed ,the whole bit .I wanted my daughter to attend son shine pre-school [ did you catch it-the name?] in exchange for 3x a week ,I WATCHED HER LITTLEST ONE WHO ALWAYS INTERRUPTED HER CLASSES. IT WAS GREAT. SHE WAS VERY SPECIAL PERSON IN MY LIFE BACK THAN [ MY 34 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WAS 4 AND A HALF. HER DAUGHTER WAS A SIMILAR AGE -WE WERE IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD BUT NOT THE SAME INCOME BRACKET. SO WHEN SHE NOTICED BECCA'S CLOSES A LITTLE WORN,HER DAUGHTER PUT SOME OF HER CAST-OFFS [ SHE NO LONGER WORE ] IN OUR MAIL BOX ON THE ROAD. OF COARSE IT WASN'T REALLY ANONYMOUS TO ME BECAUSE I SAW EMILY WITH THESE DRESS ON BUT SUCH A GREAT IDEA BOTH ACTUALLY[ AND ALL BRAND NAME DRESSES-OF COARSE, [ I WAS VERY LUCKY ]

  2. Great post! I am there so often too - frustrated by the lack of obedience from my children...and lately, some poor attitudes. I used to beat myself up when the children responded in anger or with disrespect to my correction. I felt like I wasn't doing something right if that was happening. And, then I'd get angry and we'd end up in a full blown power struggle.

    Something God's been impressing on my heart is that my children are not going to naturally embrace correction. Their little rebel spirits will fight against it (just as we adults rarely enjoy correction). My job as a mom is to mold them over a period of time. It won't all happen at once. My children ( and my parenting) is all a work in progress.

    Anyway, I know that's not exactly what you were talking about here in this post, but it brought some of these thoughts I've been having to mind.

  3. Oh this post made me smile and nod my head because, Sister, we're one and the same -smile-. Each time I imagine God shaking His great head over my mid-deeds...I hasten to amend that thought to Abba, nodding His great head, holding out His loving arms and welcoming me into His great lap for a cuddle. That's what He would have me think and not the former.
    I think disobedience and rebellion are the root cause of all sin; perhaps they are the same at heart.

  4. Amen, God is constantly showing me how to be a better parent through how He parents me. I wish we could just sit down and chat for a bit :). You know my heart and have such a loving spirit about you.

  5. Excellent. Today we had a memorial service for two family friends a mother and her 9 year old daughter who were killed in a car accident. This post reminded me that we don't always like what God does or even know why he does it, but it is done for a reason. That is where we have to put our trust. Thank you

  6. This reminds me of myself when I was younger... never listening... taking Dad's tools out of the tool box & not putting them back, but rather dropping them where ever.... Once Dad ran an electric wire to his tool box so that if we touch anything inside of it, we would get a mild shock.... annoyed, we just learned to step onto a 2x4 before grabbing anything from the tool box & play a very careful, real-life "operation" to get to anything out of it.... My Mom would have us pull her jewelry box onto the bed & go through her stuff with us, tell us stories about everything, who gave it to her, what it meant, etc..... I think kids will do whatever they want to do, and sometime we just need to be more creative keeping them active.

  7. I had a day like this today with my 3 little men in training. Your post spoke truth to me. Thank you! God knew I needed this.

  8. Wish I had the gift of words to tell you what a beautifully written "composition" this is. I love reading your blogs every day but this was so exceptionally worded that it will undoubtedly touch all who read it. Your humor never fails to impress me.

  9. Thank you . . . thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! I wish I could express how it blessed me to read it tonight, especially the part: "let's let Him be God"~ Amen! Often times we can't imagine what God is doing through our trials and the words we type on a computer, but know that He used yours and your words tonight . . . again, thank you.

  10. my babys are married and they live far well never know how much i miss them just to hold and say mommy loves you and not way did do that or way did you do's better just to say it's ok mommy love you.


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