Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What I Haven't Been Writing About

Back in September, I made some changes here and started writing about living simply in order to give.  Since then, I've written numerous posts on the subject and even interviewed several women on how they give of themselves (you can find links to all these posts here).

Through this fall, as you've read these posts, have you felt like something was missing?  You can say that you did and you won't hurt my feelings.  I have experienced some pretty strong nudging at times that I was leaving something out and while I wanted to address it, I was a bit at a loss for the right words.  Imagine that.  Me at a loss for words? Ha.

So, I started praying about it and after awhile thoughts began coming together in my head and I felt ready to write.  To get started, we're going to talk a little bit about marriage.

First, let's talk about the "rules" of marriage.  Those things that we're expected to be and do when we're a wife (or husband, for that matter).  We're to be faithful (physically and emotionally).  We're to be honest, respectful and supportive even during difficult life circumstances.  We're to contribute to the running of the household- doing our part (however you and your spouse have divided up the duties) to earn a living, help with child rearing, and complete countless other tasks and chores. 

Now, even if we do and be all those things, following all those "rules", our marriage can be F L A T flat.  It can lack heart, substance, depth and love.  We can do and be all those things and if we're not in regular, meaningful communication with our spouse, our marriage can be hollow, empty and lonely.  We're going through the motions, doing the "works", but it's not what a complete, well-rounded loving marriage should look like.

Do you see where this is going?

What I felt was missing throughout the fall was the recognition that even if we live simply, even if we give to others, even if we give of ourselves, if we're not in regular, meaningful communication with God, our relationship with Him may be hollow, empty and flat.

God created us in His image!  He created us with a desire for closeness, relationship, and communication with others.  We recognize that if these things are missing in our marriages (or other relationships) that they are not all they can be.  They are not what they were intended to be.  God wants us to be in relationship with Him.  And how do you tend a relationship?  Yes, doing the things you should for the person.  But, it's the communication that makes it a complete relationship- the getting to know each other, being open and vulnerable with each other, sharing fears and joys, asking for help and giving thanks.

Please don't lose sight of the need for relationship with God when we're talking about the tangible ways we can serve Him and others.  He longs for our attention, our time and our thoughts.  He may know our thoughts regardless, but He wants us to want to share them with Him.

And, unfortunately, it's easier to ignore a hollow relationship with God than a hollow relationship with our spouse.  But, oh, dear friends, don't ignore it.  This is one relationship we cannot afford to neglect.

My first verse for memorization this month was John 15:5b.  It's as if God knew I needed help with this post.

" Those who abide in Me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from Me, you can do nothing."

Read it again, please.  Do you see?  We need to abide (to rest or dwell) in Him to bear fruit.  Without that relationship, that dwelling, our ventures are just works.

Let's bear much fruit, friends, while we're abiding in relationship with Him. Pin It


  1. How timely is this? Elohim has put upon my heart to grow food for my fellow teachers at the Christian School we all work at. I work with the Distance Learners (homeschool) so it is possible for me to work from home. I can grow a garden, the day school teachers are at school from about 7:30 AM and do not get home again until as late as 5 many evenings. You would think that when we have summer off that we could get started when school is out but in the PNW most food we grow needs to be started long before the end of June. I have been deep into planning the garden while substituting for an extremely sick teacher and managing my own class. Somehow prayer and time in the Word slipped away....not just the time but the desire. I do not remember that happening to me before. I have felt the same nudge to come away and rest awhile in the word, to abide in the spiritual air, to rise up with wings as the eagle. Now this post.... I am blessed!

  2. yes, yes, and yes...this is so true...and so important...oxo

  3. Well put, and I love that scripture.

  4. Very timely message; thank you. Sadly, it is true...we do easily neglect our relationship with our Lord, even in the midst of serving Him. I join you in striving to abide.

  5. When we focus on our relationship with our Lord, He gives us the perspective we need to do well in the rest of our relationships.

  6. Thank you for allowing God to use you to speak to me. I have been going through the motions of faith--reading the Bible, attending Bible study and Sunday services, ministering--and then wondering why I've been having so many fears and doubts. What I've been missing is the relationship with God. Thanks for the reminder. Blessings!

  7. Loved this one! Thanks for being honest and pointing us to Jesus!!


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