Friday, July 16, 2010

This Post is PG 13-ish

In celebration of anniversary week, republished from 8/20/08:

Ok. Let me preface this post by saying a couple things. Please bear with me.

1) I mowed tonight. It takes me two hours. That's a long time for me to alone with my thoughts. Not that these thoughts were born this evening, they've been swirling around for weeks now.

2) I know Jamey loves me and is attracted to me (sometimes I do wonder why) and that is enough.

Where in the WORLD am I going with all this you are wondering.

Well, here's what happened. In the past month, I have had two individuals express interest in me. This NEVER happens. At least, it hasn't happened to me in a very, very, very long time. I mean, I am usually in old shorts and a tomato-stained t-shirt. I go nowhere, except our local grocery store which is frequented mostly by mothers and their children and retired people. The only men I come in contact with (other than Jamey) are neighbors and fellow church-goers who are married and certainly know I am married. And, after two babies, I have a lots of...let's say...extra epidermis. I wish there was a program for this, like Locks of Love, where I could make a donation to the epidermis-ly challenged.

This first incident needs to be taken with a grain of salt, I know. I have been working, very part-time, for a caterer, about an evening a month. I serve, clear tables, etc. One evening, very late at night (I think it was around midnight), a man about my age, who was clearly intoxicated made some reference to my backside resembling a certain fruit that comes in the fall. That you make sauce with. It grows on a tree. (This is as PG-13 as I get, don't worry.) He was trying to hit on me. I say trying, because after making a comment about the only place he's going to find that type of fruit, I walked away and stayed away.

The second incident happened awhile before I was aware of it. I was at my sister's without my family and met a friend of my brother-in-law's who, evidently, asked later if I was single. ME. SINGLE?

Ok, so why in the world am I writing about this? Because I can't believe how much these two incidents have affected me. It's stupid. The first guy was drunk. The second, just asked a simple question. It made me feel good to know that not only do some people find me attractive (other than my dear husband), but they are noticing that I exist.

At least for me, being a stay-at-home mom can feel, at times, like I live in another world. A very small world. A very sheltered one. I like it here very much. It should be (and actually is) enough to know that I'm attractive to the one that matters most (my husband). I know it is natural and normal to feel flattered when someone compliments you. We all like it. It makes us feel good even when we KNOW that it's what's on the inside that matters. That's what we tell our kids, right?

Maybe we need to hear it from other places too. So, here's what I propose: (Let me preface THIS by saying I am mostly talking to women right now, but you men could adapt this to work for you if you are confident enough in your male-hood.)

Let's compliment each other more. If you see your friend, or even a stranger, and they are looking especially lovely or CLEAN (in my case, for that matter), let's say so. Let's make them feel good so the drunken weirdos at weddings don't have to.

Thanks for sticking with me on this one. And, don't worry, I only mow about once a week. Pin It


  1. Ya, I get it. You are not alone:)

  2. Oh, my goodness, that made me laugh! I know what you mean -- I am not a mom, but I am married, and even when I wasn't, I'm not the type people usually hit on. When it does happen, it's pretty much always creepy, wierd types. I like your plan! So, I might as well say, that I think you have a beautiful smile.


  3. I won't go all... 'satan' on you, but after a small, minute experience in this department (I too usually look well, less than glamorous at the store)..It made me think too. it made me question things that I knew in my heart way down deep to my core, were true. and not true(straight from satan) It played with my mind. it made me think twice, alot, too often. dreamed to much. about it.
    You are right, to encourage us, your peeps to support each other in our efforts to be pleasant, appealing, and encourage each other to re-affirm that this is only for a 'season'. I had a new friend remind me today, when I was bummed that I couldn't participate in something, that I had 'little' children who needed ALOT of attention. She did it in a supportive way. I didn't feel 'left behind' when we parted. I felt like she'd be there to keep up with me, keep me in the loop. Notice my hair when I actually do it. Mention she likes the color t-shirt I'm wearing once again, with my same pair of jeans. That's what friends do. That keeps you going when your husband may be obtuse & just as tired as you, and doesn't notice enough or your just caught off guard.
    my comment, my think so... and btw, I always like to see your smile on your blog. I check your blog even if I read your last post.
    :) back at cha'.
    You said it well.

  4. I think your right about this....
    a compliment to someone can change not only how that person's day is, but may even change yours!

    I enjoyed this post.... the honesty is refreshing!

  5. very good point. love all your garden updates. wish I had one!


Just a friendly reminder, if you know me personally please try to refrain from using my name. There are those who may try to locate me, break into my pantry and steal my pickled beets. Thanks:-).

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