In celebration of anniversary week, republished from 8/20/08:
Ok. Let me preface this post by saying a couple things. Please bear with me.
1) I mowed tonight. It takes me two hours. That's a long time for me to alone with my thoughts. Not that these thoughts were born this evening, they've been swirling around for weeks now.
2) I know Jamey loves me and is attracted to me (sometimes I do wonder why) and that is enough.
Where in the WORLD am I going with all this you are wondering.
Well, here's what happened. In the past month, I have had two individuals express interest in me. This NEVER happens. At least, it hasn't happened to me in a very, very, very long time. I mean, I am usually in old shorts and a tomato-stained t-shirt. I go nowhere, except our local grocery store which is frequented mostly by mothers and their children and retired people. The only men I come in contact with (other than Jamey) are neighbors and fellow church-goers who are married and certainly know I am married. And, after two babies, I have a lots of...let's say...extra epidermis. I wish there was a program for this, like Locks of Love, where I could make a donation to the epidermis-ly challenged.
This first incident needs to be taken with a grain of salt, I know. I have been working, very part-time, for a caterer, about an evening a month. I serve, clear tables, etc. One evening, very late at night (I think it was around midnight), a man about my age, who was clearly intoxicated made some reference to my backside resembling a certain fruit that comes in the fall. That you make sauce with. It grows on a tree. (This is as PG-13 as I get, don't worry.) He was trying to hit on me. I say trying, because after making a comment about the only place he's going to find that type of fruit, I walked away and stayed away.
The second incident happened awhile before I was aware of it. I was at my sister's without my family and met a friend of my brother-in-law's who, evidently, asked later if I was single. ME. SINGLE?
Ok, so why in the world am I writing about this? Because I can't believe how much these two incidents have affected me. It's stupid. The first guy was drunk. The second, just asked a simple question. It made me feel good to know that not only do some people find me attractive (other than my dear husband), but they are noticing that I exist.
At least for me, being a stay-at-home mom can feel, at times, like I live in another world. A very small world. A very sheltered one. I like it here very much. It should be (and actually is) enough to know that I'm attractive to the one that matters most (my husband). I know it is natural and normal to feel flattered when someone compliments you. We all like it. It makes us feel good even when we KNOW that it's what's on the inside that matters. That's what we tell our kids, right?
Maybe we need to hear it from other places too. So, here's what I propose: (Let me preface THIS by saying I am mostly talking to women right now, but you men could adapt this to work for you if you are confident enough in your male-hood.)
Let's compliment each other more. If you see your friend, or even a stranger, and they are looking especially lovely or CLEAN (in my case, for that matter), let's say so. Let's make them feel good so the drunken weirdos at weddings don't have to.
Thanks for sticking with me on this one. And, don't worry, I only mow about once a week.