Friday, February 12, 2010

The Valentine's Curse

Valentine's Day is Sunday. Did you not know? Oh, dear. You better get your act together and go out and buy some lovely jewelry or chocolates or sappy cards for the loved ones in your life. At least, that's what the commercials and newspaper ads and store windows tell us, right?

I always have mixed feelings as holidays like Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and my birthday roll around. On the one hand, I don't need anything, don't want Jamey to spend a lot of money on me and don't want a big hullabaloo. These holidays were probably invented (with the exception of my birthday- that was real- I was born, ask my mom) to get us consumers out into stores, to shell out good money for flowers that will soon die and chocolates that go to our hips and jewelry we can't take with us.

With all that said, why do I want it? Why do I get sucked into those silly commercials with dancing silhouettes and classical music where the man sweeps the woman off her feet and drapes diamonds on her wrist? I don't want diamonds. Really, I don't. I fall prey to these silly ads, know in my heart and head that I don't want those things. Then when I don't get them, I'm kind of disappointed. Does this happen to anyone else? I torture myself, I tell you.

If my birthday is coming up, I find myself day dreaming about the the perfect gift. I may have not needed this perfect gift the week before or even knew it existed, but all of a sudden I think about how nice it would be to have. Then, I get a reality check and realize I don't really want it. I don't really need it. I probably won't even use it or wear it very often.

And so I think I'm fine.

My birthday approaches and of course I don't receive this made-up perfect gift (Who could possibly read my mixed-up crazy mind?) and I feel let down.

Would avoiding stores, TVs and all manner of media help my situation? Probably. But there is something to this gift-receiving thing. We (okay, I) like to feel appreciated, loved, thought of and admired. A gift that expresses these things is a welcome one. If only I could shake the whole anticipating-something-I-know-I-don't-want-will-never-need feeling and the disappointment that ensues (but thankfully never lasts very long).

Oh, my poor (figuratively and literally), dear husband. He's such a good sport to stay with me. Pin It


  1. I totally get this. Some of our biggest fights have surrounded this very topic.

  2. In the early days of our marriage I told darling hubby that a randomly bought rose or card or chocolates meant more to me than one very expensive one purchased for Valentine's Day. We opted out. The first year we did that I totalled my car on Valentine's Day. Another Valentine's Day we were told our little boy needed to be scheduled for open heart surgery. The day seemed to be itching to be remembered. Now that we've reinstated it ~ we have had more pleasant memories of the day. :) All the above is true ~ but I am NOT superstitious in ANY WAY!

    Happy Valentine's Day!

  3. I agree with you on this. My hubby and I do not celebrate holidays like valentines, mothers, fathers day. I think these holidays got so big because of greed. So we just do not do it.

    We do celebrate birthdays, though. We give homemade cards and make the persons favorite dish and desert.
    Tina Kay

  4. Oops, I forgot to add. We all like to feel appresiated and respected. I hope we all would feel this more often than just on holidays. We need to look at the little things. Like a daughter picking up her clothes without being asked or setting the table. I know that really makes me feel good.

    Tina Kay
    P.S. That is not to say that I would turn away a gift. Those are a surprise in my family. LOL God Bless you!

  5. For our very first Valentine's day as a married couple, I got my husband a waffle iron and he got me a small tool/screwdrive set. My dad thought we were looney!
    We normally don't do much with these holiday's either. My birthday, though, I do try to be especially nice to myself and really take the day to do what I want, not just appointments, housework, etc. My kids got into the spirit this year and brought me granola with yogurt with chocolate chips making a happy face on top (before I got out of bed!) It is really fun to see them being able to "give" in this way!
    Gifts aren't a big deal to me normally, though, although it is nice to be surprized occasionally. "Gifts" are not my love language, either, if you've ever read about those. I do think that it may be the love language of my daughter and that is hard for me to comprehend/meet.
    Enough ramling...happy Valentine's Day!

  6. Just read the post a comment, comment....funny. Good thing your name is HARD for me to spell....
    I love this! I too get caught up in the whole mess of it all too.....but your right when I get a BIG (by that I mean, more than $20.00) gift I think that is WAY too much money. We've kind of settled for cards. That way your acknowledging it and apperciated, but not spending way to much money. Of couse our church is offering free babysitting tonight. So we're getting a BIG DATE!

  7. I told my husband not to bring flowers anymore... only plants. I can't stand the thought of all that money for just a couple of days! I do buy flowers from my friend at her organic farm. That's different because they are REAL flowers, like peonies or sunflowers, or lilacs. (I'm not much on roses unless they are white).

    THHP, I got the pages up and the item you suggested. Let me know what you think. I'll be adding to it over time. It's at the top under my header called "Begin A Food Journey".

  8. A good marriage, loving children, true happiness, health and peace in your heart...

    The best things in life cannot be bought. It's as simple as that :)

  9. Nice post! Me, too. I like the glitter but I don't need nor want it. I'm happy to have a good and loving hubby.

  10. I know what you mean! Rob and I just give cards on V-day. I think it's kind of a silly holiday, but can't quite totally ignore, it, ya know? So - cards. And I get my kids some candy that they truly don't need. But I do like to recognize "special" days. It would be nice if we remembered on occasion to make the random day here and there a special occasion, but since that seems to be hard to do, I'll go along with the created holidays just to take the time out to acknowledge the important people in my life. We do go waaaayyy overboard for Christmas, and probably for birthdays, too (trying to scale back a bit), but other holidays are just acknowledged with something small.

    Nice post, by the way - I can really hear you saying these things, though it has been a really long time since I've heard you actually say anything in person! One of these days . . .

    Patty R

  11. I thought of you this morning during one of our adult Sunday School classes (we only have 2 at our little church) on the history of Valentine's Day and St. Valentine. Surprisingly, it wasn't created by Corporate America and really has a LONG and excellent history. Traditions in different countries are quite interesting to look into and the crossing of this celebration from "pagan" to "religious" is also worth a read.

    The urge or random desire for things you don't really need is completely normal and as far as I know, dates back to Adam and Eve (this, you should note, is full of sarcasm). Don't beat yourself up too much over far as I can tell, you have made some amazing choices in the way you live your life as it is.


Just a friendly reminder, if you know me personally please try to refrain from using my name. There are those who may try to locate me, break into my pantry and steal my pickled beets. Thanks:-).

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